#fuck yeah krampus

[ennaih]

Every Film I Watch In 2023:

236. Krampus (2015)

[rexxmako]

i'm gonna be fr, red one was pretty fun lol. there's a lot to say about it but i'll just put my additional thoughts in the tags. look it wasn't bad but not great either. a lot of the scenes felt dry and the jokes didn't land well, but i liked it, especially with the aesthetics.

altho thanks to gryla i now have "IS IT A CHARCOAL GRYLA OR A PROPANE GRYLA" in my head lmao. (yes and also i think there's gonna be a gorilla)

[monstersholygrail]

what about reader x Krampus in honor of Christmas?

-🩸

It’s well into the night as you wait for your husband, Krampus, this Christmas morning. The room is still and peaceful, the only sound being the gentle crackling of the dying fire and the only light the lit Christmas tree. You’re so deep in your sleep that you don’t hear the sharp hooves drop on the roof or the heavy footsteps that follow, growing closer and closer to your fireplace.

Through the pure magic flowing through your husband’s veins, the fireplace grows to fit his ginormous size. Even then he has to wrestle down the fireplace. But oh he’d do anything for you and it’s something you demand of him every year. Wanting the full experience. Yet none of that wakes you.

“Ah fuck!” Your husband’s voice shouts and it’s that which wakes you up from your slumber.

You both softly groan and your eyes flutter open to see the towering figure of your husband, Krampus, heading right for you. A smile lights up your face and all traces of sleep leave your expression. You push off the couch and meet your husband in the middle, your lips crashing together in a heated and sloppy kiss.

“Always forgetting to put the fire out before I get home. Such a naughty little wife, what will I do with you?” He growls against your lips, dropping his bag of tricks and gathering your plush frame into his hulking arms. A small needy moan leaves you as you arch into him. You look up at him through your lashes, fingers weaving through his fur and giving a delicious tug.

“I have a few ideas…”

Krampus laughs, a rumble moving through his chest. He presses against you, letting you know how hard his aching cock is for you after being away all night. Your pussy floods with arousal and you can’t stop yourself from tugging him down to your height.

“Oh, you tryna butter me up now, ma?” He asks huskily, his hot breath fanning your face and sending shivers down your spine.

“That depends, are you here to give me a punishment or a present?” You whisper in response, leaning in anyway to start pressing wet kisses up and down the column of his neck. Krampus growls lightly, his claws pricking gently into your soft flesh.

“Little bit of both.”

A playful gasp leaves you and you’re quickly detaching yourself from him. Eager to see what he’s brought you this year. Krampus laughs at your desperation and kneels down before you to grab at his sack of tools. While Krampus gave you, his darling wife, the special treat of a present every year, his presents usually had to do with some form of punishment. It was just his nature. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

He hands you a box and you send the wrapping paper flying as you tear it to shreds in your excitement. What’s left standing is a pretty holiday themed whip. A slow smirk spreads across your lips as you glance at Krampus.

“Oh, we could have some fun with this,” you say as your mind spins image after image. All the possibilities before you and all the pleasure you’re sure to experience.

“Why wait?” Your husband asks, a wicked gleam in his eye. One that promises punishment, pain, and pleasure. The heady mix nearly has your eyes rolling back as your panties flood with arousal.

The smell of your lust has Krampus’ nostrils flaring, his eyes flashing, and before you know it he’s pouncing on you and tackling you both back onto the couch. He’s tearing off your clothes as fast as you tore off the wrapping paper. As if you were his present this year. The gift that kept on giving.

Well now it’s his turn to give. Krampus kisses down your deliciously plump frame. Cherishing and worshipping every inch of your perfect body. His ginormous body settles in between your thick thighs. His claws wrapping around the entire expanse of it. He doesn’t let up on his teasing kisses, touching everywhere except where you need him most.

“First, let me stretch my girl out the way I know she likes, yeah?” Krampus rumbles but you know with one look he’s not even talking to you. He’s talking to your pulsing pussy that’s practically crying for his attention.

He doesn’t keep you waiting a second longer, attacking your pussy like the naughty temptress it is. His long tongue lashes out, sliding through your slick folds and igniting your every nerve.

A sharp gasp is ripped from your throat, your hips immediately jerking up into his mouth. Krampus growls and digs his claws in deeper, drawing you in tight against his mouth so there’s nowhere to run. You squirm against him as his tongue plunges into your hot core, lapping up along your sensitive walls. Each thrust of his tongue sending you closer and closer to insanity.

“S-s-slow down, please!” You cry out, the pleasure coursing through you. Your body violently shakes and the only thing keeping you up against Krampus’ mouth is his strong hands. He snarls in disagreement, sucking your puffy clit till you scream in ecstasy.

“Been waitin’ all night for this sweet pussy, ma. You think I’m gonna take it slow? No, no, no. She deserves all my attention now,” Krampus slurs against your cunt, sounding drunk off of you. He slips a couple of thick fingers through your folds till they drip with your slick and your hips grind into them, seeking more even as it feels too much.

You both seem to lose track of time. Your mind grows fuzzy with the pleasure as you get lost in it and your husband Krampus is no better. He spends nearly the entire Christmas Day between your thighs. Bringing you to finish over and over again on his tongue until you both pass out into a blissful sleep in front of the fire.

[twstfanblog]

Has Yuu told the boys about Krampus?

The story is actually pretty fucked up, he was an evil butcher that killed, chopped up, and salted 3 children hanging out by his shop. St. Nicholas found out and performed actually fucking necromancy to bring the kids back to life, and then God cursed the butcher to follow St. Nick around every December 5 as a punisher and the demon of Christmas :D

Anyways I think Kalim and Riddle would have the best reactions but what do you think?

In my Christmas fic last year, I had wanted to add in a little thing on Krampus and Santa, but it didn't end up fitting.

Honestly Leona is the first who came to mind about wanting to know about Krampus. I do know Yuu'd talk about Santa to the kids because like 'Yeah if you're really good all year round, a man will bring you a really great gift.'

But Leona takes great pleasure in looking Cheka in the eyes and telling him he's going to call Krampus to take him away in his sack if he keeps yelling in his ears. (He then has to deal with a terrified Cheka clinging to him later that night).

Riddle would like the idea at first but then hearing the whole tale, I think he'd be distressed like. Wait, the actual children DIE? They're taken away forever? To that hell place??? The children are eaten???? He's got a few concerns at the very least. He feels more comfortable with Santa's 'naughty children get coal' than Krampus's 'naughty children are beaten with sticks and eaten in Hell'.

Kalim is DISTRESSED. No! His little siblings are in danger enough with kidnapping attempts! Now he's gotta worry about a magic man taking them!? He will fight Krampus to the death honestly. Gathers up all his little siblings and has them sleep in his room. Stays away all night to guard them with Jamil's help. (Jamil calling Yuu and asking why she hates him enough to tell Kalim about a demon that's entire MO is EATTING AND KIDNAPPING CHILDREN????).

Yuu 100 tells her children about Krampus before they even KNOW about Santa. All of her children are naughty lil brats 😅

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

Merry Christmas

Christmas 2023 (Krampus x GN!Reader)

Chains and Whips

CW: Non-con, dub-con, bondage, anal, sadism, monster fucking, mild brat training, bratty reader, pain play, breaking and entering

"So... He's, like, a demon?" (Reader) took another sip of their cocoa while giving their friend a half jokingly judgemental look, squinting their eyes over their oversized mug. For the holidays (Reader) found themselves with nowhere to go, and ended up traveling with their best friend to her hometown. It was a tiny little place, cute, and very strange. (Reader) had, of course, heard about Krampus before but only because of B-rated horror movies, so seeing an entire village of people hanging up pictures of him alongside Santa Claus was a culture shock, to say the least. Stranger than the abundant Krampus merch was the fact that everyone spoke of it with respect, as though the creature was real, a respect not given to Santa.

"Well, no, kinda, but no." Johanna flicked her wrist as she spoke, eyes glazed and unfocused in the warmth of the heated living room. "Krampus is older than Saint Nicholas and Christianity."

It was difficult to stay awake, all bundled up under a mountain of blankets while the TV quietly played a movie in the background. Snow was falling outside, while children played in the setting sun, laughing outside Johanna's window.

"So, does he kidnap naughty children?"

"No, he beats them with a stick." She tiredly waved her hand in a whipping motion to illustrate her point, as though (Reader) didn't know what she meant by "beating".

"That sounds horrifying." (Reader) smiled, chuckling. Their eyelids were beginning to glue themselves shut.

"Yeah. During Krampusnacht boys like to dress up as him and try to scare people. I used to be terrified of him." Johanna rolled over and propped herself up, resting her head on her hand while sprawling out further on the warm couch across (Reader) on the adjacent lounge. "Thank God I was such a good kid!" She said cheekily.

(Reader's) grin grew. "Should I be in trouble then?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm naughty." (Reader) joked, wiggling their shoulders comically.

The young woman sat up. Her face had flipped instantly from silly to frustrated, swapping from a sleepy gaze for furrowed brows. "That's not funny, (Reader)."

Shocked by Johanna's sudden seriousness, (Reader) sat up as well, doubling down on the joke. "Should probably lock your door tonight, to keep me safe."

"Stop!" She whined, looking genuinely nervous.

"What?" (Reader) leaned forward, amused by their friend's reaction. "Are you really scared?"

"Yes!"

"Scared he's going to come punish me?"

Johanna rolled her eyes. "Krampus is real."

(Reader) wanted to push their friend a little further. This was the first time they had ever seen Johanna act in such a way. Johanna was a fearless woman, a badass who was a regular ole adrenaline junkie; the kind of person to jump out a plane without hesitation. And here she was, losing her patience over a mythological creature.

The dramatic young adult launched themselves off the couch and towards a window, swaying their hips theatrically. They threw open the window as far as it could go, cupping their mouth to amplify their voice out into the neighborhood, moaning;

"Oh no! I hope some big, hairy, Krampus doesn't come and punish me for being such a naughty little whore!"

"(Reader)!"

"Please, don't come punish me for being such a tight little cum slut!" (Reader) laughed as Johanna grabbed their arm, now giggling as well, albeit more out of nerves than honest joy.

"(Reader), please! I'm serious!" Johanna closed the window, forgetting to lock it as she was too busy looking over her shoulder at her ridiculous friend. "I swear to God, if I have to wake up in the middle of the night to save your life..!"

(Reader) wasn't done being obnoxious, shaking their ass as they pretended to run away in fear. "Oh no! Don't let him spank me! Oh noooo!"

Johanna grabbed a throw pillow and chucked it at (Reader's) head hard enough to make them lose their balance. "You would get fucking wrecked by Krampus."

"Yeah, my ass-"

"Wouldn't even last a second. You would lose a fight against a marshmallow, you aren't going to go up against an ancient being worshipped for centuries."

After falling back onto the couch (Reader) had chosen for their sleeping spot, they rolled their eyes, dropping the act. (Reader) wasn't actually a naughty person. Not only were they not "naughty" in the innocent definition of the word, being the kind of person to return other shoppers' carts they refused to put away themselves, but in the dirty sense they weren't particularly "naughty" either. (Reader) wasn't a virgin, just suffering from a dry spell. "Goodnight, Jojo."

"Goodnight! I set my alarm for five.'

"Ew!"

"I'll see you in the morning!"

"Nooooooo....."

Johanna left (Reader) for her childhood bedroom, leaving (Reader) in the dark living room, not entirely alone.

.........................

(Reader) wasn't asleep for long when the room became too unbearably cold, causing pins and needles in their legs that forced them to stand up. The time on their phone informed (Reader) that it was only one in the morning. They bundled up in the blanket Johanna provided and slipped into the kitchen to make a cup of decaf tea.

'Why's it so cold?' (Reader) shivered violently as they waited for the water to warm up enough for their drink. It was so warm before (Reader) passed out, that if the Christmas lights on the tree weren't still on they would have thought that there was a power outage. The water loudly began to sizzle in the electric kettle, making (Reader) panic, turning it off. They would have felt like shit if they accidentally woke up Johanna. Her grandparents were out of town, opting to go on a cruise during the holidays instead of hanging around in the cold to visit family, which (Reader) respected. They deserved to enjoy their retirement. Although they had never met, the older couple offered (Reader) their room, which (Reader) politely declined. Although (Reader) said that it was to respect their privacy, it was actually because (Reader) just didn't feel comfortable sleeping in someone else's bed.

The mug began to smell like tea instead of hot water as the bag steeped. (Reader) drank quickly, eager to warm up and get back to sleep. They peaked over at the clock on the oven.

1:00

It had taken almost ten minutes to make one cup of tea, but the time was still one am.

(Reader) felt a shiver crawl down their spine.

Before they could wrap their mind around the time, a rough hand with long, sharp nails, clasped over (Reader's) mouth, dragging them off the chair. The mug went flying, shattering against the tile flooring, along with the wooden chair tipping over and loudly clattering.

Despite the struggle and muffled screams, Johanna did not come down to (Reader's) rescue.

The lights that had been strung up on the tree were tied around (Reader's) arms, securing their hands behind their back. (Reader) fell unceremoniously to their knees.

Above them stood a giant shape in the dark. A tattered red cloak, chains and hooks, black fur..

Hooves sunk into the carpet of the living room. Black fur covered the majority of it's exposed body, and the skin that wasn't hairy was a dark grey with black discoloration. Large horns rose from his skull like a crown. His long, almost human face held a twisted smirk, split open just enough to show off his rows of sharp teeth. Within his primate sockets were goat like eyes, yellow and glowing in the dark.

Despite the heat of the bulbs pressed against (Reader's) arms, the terrified person felt colder than before.

Krampus.

He bent down, gently pressing his clawed thumb into (Reader's) mouth, rubbing his bitter tasting finger across their tongue as (Reader) sat shell shocked.

'He's real.'

(Reader) felt as he played with the wet insides of their mouth, only breaking out of their trance when his nail poked the sensitive wall of their inner cheek.

A surprised cry echoed throughout the house, earning a hand grabbing a fistful of (Reader's) hair, yanking their head back warningly. (Reader) bit down on the disgusting tasting hand as harshly as they could, but it only resulted in an amused chuckle. The creature's laugh was deep, rumbling like thunder in his chest.

He released (Reader) and effortlessly pulled his thumb out from their teeth. One of the many chains with hooks was uncoiled from the demon's shoulder and thrown to his cloven feet.

"Hey, wait-!" (Reader) protested as they were lift up and placed on their feet with only one hand. Their pajama bottoms were pulled down around their ankles, taking their underpants with them. "Stop!"

The hook Krampus had prepared was picked back up, the stench of his body becoming overwhelming as he engulfed (Reader) in his arms, jangling the chain behind their back as he prepared something.

"I don't know what you are, but I swear to God, I'm going to start screaming rape if you don't stop! The neighbors will call the cops!" (Reader) didn't know what they were saying, the adrenaline spike forcing out tough sounding sentences that made no sense, given the fact that this wasn't a normal human home invader.

Another rumble rolled throughout his rib cage as something cold violated (Reader's) ass. (Reader) involuntarily screamed as the hook was lodged into their anus.

They tried to fall to the floor, allowing their legs to turn to jelly, but Krampus tugged on the chain above them, forcing them up onto their toes. Their hands were still tied behind their back, so their balance was depended entirely on the chain.

Krampus seemed pleased, looking down at the teary little human.

(Reader) was not on the naughty list.

They had always been a good person, mindful of others and always attempting to do what was right. So when they opened the window that night, releasing their scent and calling out to Krampus, he knew what they were really implying.

A long, pink cock slick and shiny in the multicolor glow of (Reader's) bindings emerged from the black mass of fur between his animalistic legs. It was thin, but it continued emerging, revealing itself to almost be the length of his thigh.

He grabbed (Reader's) hair again, forcefully pushing their upper half down, bending them at their waist. They couldn't fall because of the chain still holding (Reader) up. The hand on (Reader's) head shoved their face down to his crotch, slipping his slimy cock between their lips as they begged him to stop. Like a sword, the long penis went down their throat, rubbing against their uvula, and poking into their stomach. Vomit rose and threatened to choke (Reader), coughing it up around his thin cock that smelled like his fingers.

(Reader) tried to straighten their back to pull his dick out of their body, but the Krampus yanked up on the hook while laughing, causing (Reader) to fall forward back onto his dick as their feet lost contact with the ground.

The chain was given some slack, placing (Reader) back onto their toes. They were able to pull off his dick long enough to release the bile onto his thighs. It was still in their mouth, but at it's thin tip, allowing (Reader) the chance to breathe. Then he pulled up again, ramming (Reader) onto him like some kind of pulley operated sex toy.

(Reader) felt their muscles burn as their face was mercilessly fucked by the monster, bobbing their head up and down his shaft by the chain still attached to (Reader's) ass.

Krampus dropped the heavy metal chain to grab (Reader's) head, slapping his heavy balls against their chin as his fucking became more erratic, smashing their nose into his thick fur as his chuckles turned to deep moans and pants. Then, (Reader's) face was held against his pelvis tightly as painfully hot fluid shot straight into their stomach.

He pulled out slowly, still twitching with little pumps of cum as he slid the cock out of their throat and over their tongue.

(Reader) left their mouth open, feeling the smelly fluid drip off their tongue and onto the floor, hoping they would vomit up the rest of his jizz they were forced to drink. The appearance of (Reader) with sticky white drool still connected in a long string to the tip of his hard cock, along with the pathetic little sniffles they made as tears dribbled down their cheeks, excited Krampus more, encouraging him to continue.

Still coughing up the suffocating muck, (Reader) was hoisted into the air, this time not by the hook that had fallen out of their rear, but but the Christmas lights around their midsection.

Suspended above the ground, (Reader) frantically kicked their legs. Krampus held the back of the bindings of their arms with one clawed fist, exposing themselves to him. A foot made contact with his knee in the struggle, but Krampus didn't flinch, completely unfazed by (Reader's) strength.

"No more! Fucking stop!" (Reader) squealed in desperation. They knew he could see how aroused they had become from this angle. (Reader) couldn't see his face, but knew he was smirking at them like the bastard he was. They didn't want to, but their body couldn't help it. It felt good to be fucked.

It had been a long time since (Reader) had had sex, but even longer since they had been fucked.

His still wet member pried open (Reader's) clenched hole. It wasn't painful, with how thin it was, but it kept going in, deeper, and deeper. It hit the point where a large human cock would have stopped, but the monster didn't seem to care for (Reader's) discomfort, forcing himself all the way in. (Reader) didn't even know how they fit all that dick inside of them. But the moment they felt his hot hips grind against their ass, their eyes fluttered.

Unable to touch the ground, (Reader) was held up by the Krampus' left hand and his erection. The lights dug into their ribs painfully, scraping against them as Krampus used the decoration as a harness. His thrusts were fast and hard, just like when he was raping (Reader's) mouth. He went deeper into their slutty hole than anyone ever had before, forcibly giving (Reader) unwanted pleasure.

"H- Help!" (Reader) shakily whined as they fought against how good his slimy inhuman dick felt as he pounded them from behind. Each snap of his hips hit their nerves better than any man had before. The building tightness was eroding (Reader's) will to fight.

'This isn't morally wrong.. right?'

'It's like a dream.. no one judges you for who you fuck in a dream you can't control..'

Their stomach contracted as their orgasm built, threatening to release. But just as (Reader) was about to finish, Krampus ceased his movements, holding them unbearably still against him.

(Reader) involuntarily whined. The climax slowly dissolved, losing the momentum. "Please let me go.."

Something hard painfully slapped their ass, cracking loudly like a riding crop. (Reader) cried out before they could bite their lip, earning another chuckle from the goat man as he continued dicking them down from behind.

Just as (Reader) tried to hush the sounds of enjoyment singing out from their own mouth, another slap from the wood stung their rippling ass cheek as Krampus buried his cock into them.

The rising orgasm built faster this time, causing (Reader) to shake as though they were helping rock themselves onto Krampus' long dick. Their thighs quivered and their breaths became ragged. Each thrust was alternated with a stinging whack to (Reader's) behind. And each time that wood contacted sharply against their skin, (Reader) was brought closer to the edge.

But again, he stopped, only keeping himself in as (Reader) lost their orgasm. They moaned angrily.

It seemed obvious that (Reader) was enjoying this, so why did he keep stopping?? Embarrassment filled (Reader) up and spilled out as tears and a cock hungry sob. "Please.." (Reader) squeezed their eyes shut in shame. "Please finish up.."

"Be more specific." A frighteningly deep voice rumbled from behind (Reader). "What do you want me to do, naughty little whore?"

Precum leaked down (Reader's) legs. "Please let me cum.."

The switch smacked them harder. "What was that?"

"Please let me cum!" (Reader) felt themselves tightening around his dick as they raised their voice. "Please fuck me stupid! I want to cum!"

Another harsh slap earned a gasp from (Reader), urging them to continue begging.

"Please fuck me!"

He laughed quietly while pulling (Reader) up so they could see his face. His dick was still buried deep inside of them as he gazed down at them with predatory eyes. "What a good little slut.."

His lips smashed against (Reader's) forcing his tongue into their kiss as he resumed his assault on their tired, raw genitals. (Reader) returned the kiss just as desperately as Krampus gave it. Their kissing made (Reader) light headed as his ramming cock fucked them past the point of no return.

(Reader) came loudly at the same time as Krampus shot another round into their greedy fuck hole. Even after his seed spilled out he continued pumping, slapping his wet hips up against (Reader's) as he rode out his second orgasm. He kept his cock nestled deep inside (Reader) as they passed out, falling asleep in his arms as he weakly continued rubbing himself against their twitching walls.

(Reader) woke up in the morning on the couch, their clothes on and bundled up in a warm blanket. Johanna was awake, making coffee. Their face burned, wondering what they could have eaten the night before to make them dream about something so dirty, and so vividly.

"You awake yet?"

(Reader) quickly sat up, sore, presumably from sleeping on a couch. "Yeah, I'm getting up."

They stood, but almost immediately felt their knees buckle as cum poured out of them into their pants so quickly (Reader) thought they pissed themselves. (Reader) squawked, pulling open their bottoms to find their underwear missing, and the insides of their pants painted with someone else's fluids, still leaking out of their swollen hole.

"Haha, what was that?" (Reader) quickly pulled up their pants as their friend entered the living room with the mug (Reader) broke the night before.

"Nothing."

"You sure? You look kinda feverish.."

"I'm good!"

"I was just thinking about how to get on the naughty list again next year~"

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Bump in the night

Written for day 29 of the @steddieholidaydrabbles, and the December round of the @stmonstercalendar

Prompts: Fairytale and Krampus

Relationships: Pre-Steddie; Steve & Dustin

Rated: T

Tags: Kidnapping; Krampus!Eddie; Good babysitter Steve; Dustin is a little shit; crack (somehow, idk. it grew a plot again)

Running in snow is a bitch on the legs. 

By the time Steve leaves the village behind, the moon is dipping behind the trees and his legs are screaming at him to stop. He doesn’t. It has started snowing again, and he knows that it won’t be long before the tracks are gone. He’ll have no way of catching up to them, then.

He’s gonna fucking murder Dustin. 

Provided he manages to save him and they don’t both die of pneumonia. 

He pushes himself to go faster, and when he reaches the top of the hill, he spots a figure ahead of him. A dark, hulking shape standing out against the moonlit winter landscape. Even from the distance, he can see the pair of horns protruding from its head - long and curved and ending in wicked points. 

Steve gulps. 

Sure, he knows the stories. About things that go bump in the night, about monsters creeping down into the human settlements from the mountains to steal misbehaved children from their beds and carry them off into the darkness. He used to roll his eyes at them, think of them as mere fairytales made up by his father and the village elders.

Looks like he owes them an apology. 

He mentally schedules that for after he murders Dustin. 

“Hey,” His voice slaps off the trees as a distorted echo. “Hey, fuckface!” 

The figure stops. Then, very slowly, it turns. It’s hard to make out features through the night and the snow, so all Steve can see are its eyes. Two deep, dark pools peering back at him through a curtain of tangled hair. 

Steve is rushing down the hill before it occurs to him he didn’t even bring a weapon. Not breaking his run, he snatches a thick branch off the ground, twirling it high over his head and lunging at the creature with a hoarse scream. 

“Hey, careful with that! You could take out an eye.” 

Steve freezes. The branch drops. 

“Wha-” he croaks. “Wait, you can talk?” 

The thing rolls its eyes at him. Now that he’s closer, it turns out that its face is … unexpectedly human. Large, brown eyes and a pair of surprisingly pretty lips framed by a spill of dark, chaotic curls. Almost like any other guy you might meet in the marketplace - if it weren’t for the pair of horns attached to his head and the shaggy fur covering his body from the shoulders down, and the fact that his legs end in fucking hooves. 

“Yes, I can talk,” says the guy … the creature … Steve is so confused right now. “I’m a monster, not an idiot, y’know?” 

“Sorry,” says Steve automatically. “I didn’t mean to- … cut that crap, what did you do to Dustin? I know you took him, where-” 

“I’m here,” says a disembodied voice. Steve flinches, spinning in a startled circle. “Steve, is that you?” 

There’s a weird sort of echo to his voice, like he’s in a tiny room or other confined space. 

“Oh fuck,” Steve gasps. “Did you eat him already?” 

“I didn't eat him,” says monster dude. He sounds appalled by the concept. “He's in here.” 

He jerks back his thumb - longer than a human one and ending in a wicked claw - to point at the giant wicker basket strapped to his back. 

“You put him in a basket? Like what, a chicken?” 

Monster dude scoffs. “I sure as hell am not dragging him all the way. They tend to kick and bite.” 

Then, evidently deciding that Steve isn’t worth the trouble, he turns and resumes his way through the snow. 

“Wait,” Steve blurts. “Where are you going? Let him go, right now!” 

“No can do,” monster dude shrugs. “He’s been the naughtiest kid in all the valley, and rules are rules.” 

“Oh, c’mon!” says the basket. “I’m not that bad.” 

“Oh yeah?” monster dude says, producing a rumbled piece of parchment from somewhere in his shaggy fur. Does he have pockets in there? “Let’s see. It says here you talked back to your teachers.” 

“Because they were glaringly wrong. Was I supposed to just let that slide?” 

“You fell asleep in church.” 

“Not my fault the priest sucks at public speaking.” 

“You blew up the school building. Dude, seriously?” 

“That was an accident, you can’t hold that against me!” 

“Woah, wait!” says Steve, who just spotted the curly letters scrawled onto the parchment. “I know that handwriting! Did my father give you this?” 

Monster dude’s eyes go wide. Then, before Steve can so much as blink, he jumps. Steve yelps as he hits the ground, claws easily as long as his own fingers digging into his arms, pressing him down into the snow. 

“Hey,” Dustin yells from within the basket. “What are you doing? What’s the ruckus about?”

“You are the mayor’s son?” 

Steve blinks. “I- … what? What does that have to do with any- ow, shit!”

He tries to wiggle out of the claw’s hold, but they tighten their grip. Monster dude’s face has twisted into a manic grin, revealing a row of gleaming fangs and a long, pointed tongue. 

“This is brilliant,” he growls, more to himself than to anyone else. Steve winces as he is grabbed by the collar and yanked upright. 

“Hey, let go of me, what are you-” Something cold and heavy closes around his wrists. When he looks down, it is to find his hands bound together by a pair of large, rusty manacles. “What the actual fuck? What kind of sick weirdo are you?” 

“The worst there is,” monster dude smirks. “And you, big boy … You might just be my ticket to freedom, if I play my cards right.” 

He turns to go again, and Steve is helpless to do anything but stumble behind him as he tugs on the chain. The fresh snow covers their tracks as they disappear into the night.

Something, something, and then Dustin and his monsterfucker dads unveil how the village elders have been disposing of bothersome kids for years.

More holiday drabbles

[thenightshadowqueen]

Divorces and Teddy Bears—Watchthrough Thoughts

I’m not sure if anyone likes reading these, but I do, and I figure I can’t be the only one, so here we go. (Plus, they’re fun to make.)

The little card and “beginning-middle-end” editing is amazing

The presents in the title card being addressed to “Peter Steven”, “Priscilla”, and “Johnny and Janae”??????? They know their fanbase; I died

I love this stage

Also captions!!!

I love Luke being so confused at the beginning and just going “Oh!” when he gets it

“I was dressed as a sheep” ah, taking lessons from Sam, are we?

AJ’s sassy walk!!!!!!!

Okay I love Mrs. Claus holy shit

“Leave the keys in the sled, yes. So I can start the engine of the sled.” I love it when Sam points out logic flaws without even breaking character (although I also love it when he breaks character too)

Poor Snowdrop, being assigned as the child of divorce and forced into the middle

Also Luke’s hair???? He looks amazing

The camera quality is great as well

“We feed directly on your emotions. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.” Luke????

Congrats to Luke for finally getting his diagnosis!

Also Luke directing the audience to cheer for him and then to stop is amazing (reminds me a bit of that clip of him getting the room to be quiet in that recent Genre game)

Tom changing the scene just to crouch behind the chair… This caught me so off guard (in the best way possible)

I know someone already said this but Little Krampus has huge Scottish Robin vibes

Also I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: how the FUCK does Tom move like that?

Tom stroking at a strand of Luke’s hair like that is so weird and I’m here for it; Tom’s character choices are always top-notch

I think “sassy women who fly to warm places to cheat on their husbands with men called Javier” is my favourite niche sub-genre of AJ character (insert that thing about nickels and things happening twice) (shoutout to Tracy) (also I know that Tracy didn’t canonically sleep with Javier but like… she totally did, right?) (or with a different Javier) (there are always plenty of Javiers available in the SFTHverse) (and she has been fucking everyone (direct quote from her))

I love it when AJ fucks up some tiny, barely-significant thing and Sam just CANNOT let it go and it becomes an actual plot point

AJ’s passport photo poses are gorgeous

“The most wanted terrorist in the North Pole” Jesus Christ Sam

Also tangent but can I just say that AJ wearing friendship bracelets is everything (and am I right in saying that I think those were the ones made by fans? Or am I misremembering? Because if they are that is so fucking sweet)

Now I really want to learn more about the Great Battle

Sassy Tom!!!! I love sassy Tom

The Sam and Luke elves remind me of the Oompa Loompas from West End Big Boys

I love Luke’s determination to climb on Sam and Sam’s determination to prevent it

“~Rudolph motherfucker~” have I mentioned that I love AJ?

Audience to the rescue!

“Initiating micro-space” AJ???

Javier having basically all of his buttons undone… Xavier flashbacks, anyone? (Also, Tom having basically all of his buttons undone… he definitely remembers the latest DnD livestream)

“I was expecting a sexy lady with a big beard” hell yeah, bearded women!

“Is [having your shirt unbuttoned] the local custom?” “No, only when we are awaiting a lover. Which, again, you are not; you are two children.” I love that Tom has to remind Sam to not unbutton his shirt because… it’s Sam

“My manservant was surprised” one, of course Javier had a manservant, and two, they need to stop making me think of BBC Merlin because it kills me every single fucking time

Luke just casually telling this random man that he’s 2000 years old… god, they really do never leave the North Pole, do they?

“Tell me a little less” I love Tom

“I’m definitely the receiver in the relationship” TOM (but also good for Javier)

AJ oh my fucking god

“That’s how it works up there” god I love Sam’s very specific “suspension of disbelief” voice

“That looks like a plot point that’s almost been abandoned” Tom is amazing

Oh, Luke, you’ve just set yourself up for another Pocket scenario

“I just wanted the pussy” Tom

“You know it’s casual” does she? Because she’s moving halfway around the world for him

“Wow, that sounds very transactional to me” I mean… yeah. Yeah, it does

“Hey, let’s not blame someone with a disorder, shall we?” I love Sam holy shit

Tom singing!!!!!!!!!!!! He sounds so creepy??????? He’s doing an amazing job

“~I just realised there’s no cable on this mic at all~” Tom has been freed!

Oh my god I love seeing Tom so happy

Tom’s villains are always amazing for a lot of reasons but especially his physicality???

Tom is having so much fun

AJ’s expression when Tom puts their faces close together is amazing; it’s like, “I have no idea what the fuck you’re doing but I’m going with it”

“Poor little teddy bear Christmas man.” I love Tom trying to bring back the title (“I have so many names and that is not one of them”)

LUKE!!!! (his Little Krampus movements are amazing)

Also Snowdrop :(

AJ just staring blankly into the camera is so fucking creepy

Luke good fucking god

Thought we were going to get a kiss for a second there…

Sam singing!!!!

I love the audience singalongs!

AJ singing!!!!

Holy shit I love this play

Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates!

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @steddiebingo.

Same Time Next Year?

12 Days of Christmas Prompt: Krampus | Word Count: 2400 | Rating: E | CW: Monsterfucking, Spanking | POV: Steve | Tags: Modern AU, Steve "Monsterfucker" Harrington, Krampus Eddie Munson, Size Difference, Immortality, Rimming, Anal Sex

Also here on ao3.

This art by Brom is very much the Krampus that Eddie is based off of. Of course, picture adding the long Krampus tongue and hooves, and now we're cooking.

There's a parade. A night parade. Fuck. He missed that memo, clearly. Tons of people dressed up as Krampuses. Krampii? Steve isn't sure. It makes no difference, the point is, he just didn't realize it was the sixth or he would have avoided downtown entirely. Jogging while weaving through a parade isn't exactly his idea of fun.

There are so many horned creatures walking down Main, some blowing fire, some riling the crowd, trying to elicit screams. Some are there for fun, while others are serious scare actors, giving it their all, making it impossible to maneuver through them.

So, he makes the decision to veer off-course, and takes a detour through the wooded area, where he nearly runs straight into one of the guys in costume that has clearly wandered off the parade route. Probably to take a piss. 

Even trying to get out of their way, he still runs into one of them. Perfect.

"Sorry, man," Steve says, and the guy cocks his head. He's tall. Tall, tall. With long hair, and horns. Broad shoulders that look very sinewy. Purposefully dehydrated, maybe, for the whole look. Like a bodybuilder or action star would do, but not nearly that big and broad. Still, Steve can see every line, every muscle, in his chest and arms. It's all so visible and defined, even out here in the moonlight. Even with his body painted black. 

And won't that be a bitch to get off for him, later.

But Steve really studies him, cloven feet, the expressive, if not slightly terrifying prosthetic mask. A tail that's whipping back and forth like a curious cat. His legs are covered in a dense layer of wavy fur, making him look like he'd feel like a black goldendoodle. 

His inner voice asks: Can I pet that dog?

But, yeah, no. Steve wants to pet him, but would also like to keep his hands, so he resists.

His brain is poking at him that it's not a mask, that this is not a man, but he ignores it.

"Um, your costume. It's really good. You should win," Steve says, not even sure if there are prizes for whatever the townsfolk are doing back there. But if there are trophies. This is the guy. Even if it looks like he's wearing some poor dog's fur swept up from the groomer's floor for pants.

It's very realistic, he'll give him that.

He takes a step towards Steve, and Steve doesn't take a step back. He lets him close the distance.

And his brain has given up on poking, now it's all out screaming that it's no mask. No costume. No man. His eyes are deep brown, and beyond expressive. Captivating. Steve can't look away. Then they flash red for a split second, before sliding back to their dark goldenness.

This thing is real, whatever it is.

And then it hits Steve: It's Krampus. The real Krampus. 

So, he's about to die. Awesome.

It leans down and Steve realizes he has exactly zero survival instincts, because he still doesn't run. Instead he fawns, watching in rapt fascination as its tongue extends out of the creature's mouth, revealing just how thick and long it is before coming to a point.

Steve feels his cock twitch in his shorts, and what the fuck? Seriously? Calm down, dick. Not the time.

Krampus lifts his nose to the air and sniffs. Then he looks down, homing in on Steve's traitorous cock, the very one that's currently hellbent on rising to this occasion. If he lives through the night, he'll be forced to tell Robin she was right when she swore him watching werewolf porn was a gateway drug to monsterfucking.

Now that he's actually met a monster, and one that didn't immediately rip his entrails from his body, well, shit. Color him intrigued. 

If he dies, he's gonna die trying to get laid.

It's the Steve Harrington way.

So, Steve gives in. He reaches out and touches the chest that's covered in that all-over short coat. So short he can still see skin peeking through, see the definition of muscle over bone, but there's enough hair there to feel, definitely.

If Steve squints, it looks almost human. Well, human-ish, human adjacent, whatever.

The tongue snakes out again, this time curling around Steve's neck, and Steve moans, lilting his head to the side. It feels good, warm and wet, and he knows he wants that tongue somewhere else.

Steve's in over his head. He's, fuck, he's never felt anything like this in his whole goddamn life. The long, agile tongue is in him in ways no human man could ever reach. Split wide on the thick girth of it, with the tip flicking against his prostate, over and over.

Fuck. He's gonna come, just like this.

Being eaten out by a demon in the woods. 

What a way to go. Nobody will ever say Steve Harrington isn't up for an adventure.

His waist is wrapped in chains, and they are heavy and warm against his bare back. He doesn't feel tied down, though. They're there, but they aren't attached to anything else, he doesn't think.

The tongue slides out, and he wants to complain. He was so close, his balls have drawn upwards towards his body, and he starts to slide his hand toward his aching, dripping cock.

"No," comes the voice. The first word it has spoken. Steve wasn't even sure it could talk.

And then he feels the first blow. Wood to his ass, a bundle of switches. He keens as he tries to crawl forward, but he doesn't know where he plans to go. Then it changes to a more solid rod. And it hurts, but he doesn't think he's trying to be hurt by this thing. There's a difference, and he can feel it.

It has one hand braced on the small of Steve's back as it strikes him over and over.

He can feel the warmth throbbing in both ass cheeks, after taking the spanking. Then the tongue is back, and Steve sags with relief. He's letting a demon go tongue-deep in his ass, so maybe he has been bad. Very bad, indeed. The rod has branded him, surely reddened his skin, and now he's on his hands and knees in the woods asking for more.

One more flick, and Steve comes untouched all over the dry, dead leaves. 

The tongue slips out once again, and Steve falls forward. It's cold, and the ground is hard, but he's too wrung out to care. 

All he did was go for a run. This was a misunderstanding. 

But he's not so sure he cares about that now.

Steve rolls over onto his back, his spent cock, nestled against his body, in search of heat. He watches the thing as it stands over him. Not sure if he's about to get killed, or fucked. 

Its tongue retracts fully, disappearing into its mouth and well, that's a cool party trick. He supposes it'd never be able to speak if it was hanging out of his mouth all the time.

Krampus is moving a hand towards its beltline, long claws on even longer fingers, pushing away the heavier pelt of fur that covers his crotch. Steve isn't sure what he's got going on down there, but a throb of want goes through him. He needs to find out. He's sloppy and loose from the tongue, and whatever Krampus is working with, Steve's determined to take it.

Even if this is fucked up, even if he's fucked up. He doesn't care. He's into it and as long as he doesn't die, nobody can shame him. 

If he dies, well, he'll be dead and the newspapers can have a field day. 

Once revealed, its cock is as red as its tongue, thick and definitely not human. Not at that size. But not too foreign, either. Just scaled up, and apparently ribbed for Steve's pleasure. 

Don't mind if he does, thanks.

It's looking down at him — asking permission? — and looks almost human.

"Fuck," Steve says, and spreads his thighs wider. Maybe they can do it like this, face to face. Steve will roll back over if that's what's demanded of him, but if he gets to choose? He thinks he wants to see. That feels more thrilling, more dangerous.

Krampus pulls Steve's body towards him, bowing Steve's back, as he nudges the head of his cock at Steve's hole.

And then he's in. 

Steve lets out a whine, a keen, that he hopes nobody in the distance heard. It's bigger than it looked, so fucking big, that it's really edging far closer to pain than pleasure. He needs more lube, to be slicker, he thought he was open, but this is—

Krampus snaps his fingers, and suddenly the next stroke is considerably easier. He's gotten exactly what he was wishing for: he's slick, opened up, and ready.

Holy shit.

Well, that's a neat trick. 

And what was painful, is now just an incredible fullness, and he just enjoys being fucked by this creature. He's pretty sure he can't come again, but he's still enjoying himself. Every thrust, every noise he's making above Steve, it's all so goddamn hot.

Steve reaches up and grasps his shoulder, digging into the muscle, feeling the tuft of hair on his shoulder tickling his palm. He glides his fingers through the hair, it's thick, but soft and he follows it, down the middle of Krampus's back where it comes to a ridge, like a startled cat.

He combs his fingers through it, stroking, and Krampus lets out a noise, a purr, almost, and comes, thrusting deep inside of Steve. It feels insanely warm, and like it's a lot. He's sure he's full, and his spent cock twitches at the thought.

When Krampus finally slides out, his thick, red cock hanging soft between his thighs, he lowers Steve back to the ground. Steve feels hollowed out. In a good way, the best way, but also in kind of a sad way that it's over. He stands up and pulls his underwear and jogging shorts back on, sure he'll be leaking the whole way home.

Krampus is just standing there, watching Steve dress. It's oddly human, and Steve doesn't know what comes next. Does he say thank you? Does he try to kiss him? Does he run for his life just thankful he's survived the best sexual experience of all time?

He doesn't do any of those things. 

Instead Steve asks, "Same time next year?" 

Krampus is towering over him, head cocked in an inquisitive way, but then he nods, and Steve can't wait. 

One Year Later

Steve had almost convinced himself it had been a fever dream. But one year later, with the parade raging once again down mainstreet, Steve has slipped back off into the woods. Krampus is waiting, as promised, and he didn't come empty handed. He presents Steve with an offering: A bloody set of clothes that look suspiciously like an old fashioned Santa suit. 

Steve takes them, "Thank you?"

"You. St. Nick now," Krampus grumbles, and Steve isn't sure if this is a roleplay situation or what.

"For tonight?"

"For forever," Krampus declares. 

Well, Steve doesn't really have anything else going on, he supposes.

"You bring the children," Krampus says.

"And you kill them?" Steve asks, because he's not down with that. He's a good babysitter, not a murderous one.

"I do not kill them," Krampus says, "the good, you gift. The bad, I punish."

"How do you punish them?" Steve asks, because he needs details.

"My rod," Krampus says, pulling it from his side, showing it to Steve.

Steve's offended, and slightly aghast, "You used that on me doing that and now you spank children with it?"

"I washed it first," Krampus tells him, like that's reasonable.

"We'll discuss this later," Steve says. If he's gonna be Santa, he'll be the new sheriff in town. Krampus will have to follow a few new rules, maybe. And maybe that rod will just be for him, for now on.

"Do you agree then?" Krampus asks.

It's impulsive, and insane, but Steve nods.

"I agree," Steve says, and Krampus puts his hand on the top of Steve's head, covering his whole crown, his claws tickling all the places they reach.

And then Steve feels it. A warmth, a glow, like he's never known. Starting at his scalp and zipping down his body until it reaches his toes.

It's magic coursing through him. He's immortal now. He's sure of it. 

He's goddamn Santa Claus.

Krampus lets go and is looking down at Steve.

"You got a name?" Steve asks.

"Krampus."

"Nothing else? No nicknames? Nothing that's, well, more normal that I can call you?"

Krampus is silent for a few more steps. Steve keeps walking beside him. And, well, he'll just have to come up with a nickname himself.

"Krampie?"

"No," Krampus says.

"Puss?"

"Absolutely not."

"Amp—"

"Stop it. Eddie," Krampus offers.

"Eddie," Steve repeats. "I like that."

"I'm so glad," Eddie says, and it's dry, and hilarious. 

Which is good, if he's gonna be stuck with him for the rest of all time. Or, at least until Krampus kills him next year and gives his clothes to some new dude in the woods? Steve's not sure how the whole Santa situation works. Oh well. Steve can't think about that right now.

"Did you just make that name up?" Steve asks.

"Maybe. Maybe not."

Steve smiles. It doesn't matter. 

"If I'm Santa Claus—"

"St. Nicholas."

"—do I get a Mrs. Claus?"

Eddie lets out a possessive growl.

"Don't worry, strictly Platonic with a capital P."

There's a few moments of silence, and Krampus must be pondering this proposal. Finally, he sighs.

"If you must," Eddie says, and Steve can't wait. Another customer service job with Robin? The biggest one ever, maybe. One that can last all of eternity while they get to be The Clauses? Sign them up.

"Awesome. You'll love her. So, tell me. What do we do now, Eddie?" Steve asks, readjusting his stocking cap. It has a fluffy little ball on the end and everything, and is only streaked with a little bit of blood. Hopefully that'll wash out.

Eddie just grumbles, and that's okay. Steve can be surprised, it's surely meant to be a magical adventure, after all.

Next Part: Climb You Like a Tree

You can see my updated cards and all my filled bingo prompts right here.

If you want to sign up for a future bingo event or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddiebingo and follow along with the fun! 👹

[auroracalisto]

day #11: krampus

simon x gn!reader, 279 words a/n: simon's never heard of krampus. tw: simon being simon, cussing, simon being krampus' number 1 hater

"The fuck is a Krampus?"

You looked up from the Christmas commercials playing on the television, eyes locking with Simon's.

He's staring at you like you'd gone and said something absolutely insane.

Hell, all you'd said was, "Krampus scares the shit out of me."

"You don't know what Krampus is?" you curiously asked, turning to face him on the sofa.

"It sounds fucking stupid," he said, rolling his eyes. He took a swig of his beer can, letting the amber liquid swish around before he sat it back down. "Fucking Krampus."

You rolled your eyes. "Stop being such a freak," you said, nudging him with your leg. "Krampus is actually—"

"—for the love of god, I do not want to know."

"Then why'd you ask?"

He stared you down and pursed his lips. When he said nothing more, you grinned. He was giving up, wasn't he?

"So, I learned this a long time ago, but Krampus is like... this mythical creature that's technically the polar opposite of Santa Claus. So Santa's all good and loving and Krampus scares and whips little children who misbehave."

He blinked slowly. "The fuck?"

"Yeah," you said. "It's European folklore. He basically accompanies Santa Claus."

"Yeah, but that shit's not real," Simon scoffed.

"You think?"

He narrowed his eyes. "You tellin' me you think fuckin' Krampus is real?"

You grinned. "Only one way to find out, huh?"

Again, he stared at you like you were crazy.

"Oh, come on," you scoffed. "Stop being such a Debbie Downer."

"I am not a Debbie Downer. I don't believe in that stupid shit."

"Guess we'll find out if Krampus comes to scare you."

"Fuck off, you bitch."

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also "textless" versions of these, wahooo

[cloudytardigrade]

fav things from the new longform (now one of my favourites)

•Luke being so confused in the beginning and then the "ohhh"

•The echoing mic was iconic

•Mrs Claus's sass

•Luke saying "What the fuck is Snowdrop??"

•"I have loved you since 0 AD"

•"I was a wise man" "I was dressed as a sheep"

•"You can call me a giant elf if you want but I don't give a shit, do y'know that?"

•The awkwardness of Snowdrop having to watch Mr and Mrs Claus argue

•"Barbados is on the naughty list. All of it"

•Also Krampus IS one of the best SFTH characters.

•The relationship between Santa and Snowdrop. THE PROTECTIVENESS <33

•"You just gonna keep being an asshole to me?.."

•The eyebrow raise from Snowdrop when Santa says "You slept with Javier!"

•The casual "See ya later" from Mrs Claus after having an argument that will probably end their relationship

•TOM PLAYING VILLAINS HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT.

•"Breakfast, lunch and dinner: Santa's smiles"

•"September, October, yeah I'll do it, then November comes and it's like "fucking hell!!"

•Javier??? Xavier's long lost twin??

•I WILL be making fanart of the characters, specifically Krampus and Snowdrop bc they're my favs

•The hold back of laughter from Luke when Santa says "we recently found out this year that all elves have ADHD"

•"About time, Luke-I mean, Snowdrop"

•Sam singing 😭

•The little hand movements Luke does after Santa accidentalky says "Luke" instead of Snowdrop

•Krampus talking in third person

•The way Krampus and Little Krampus get around

•"You have DHHA" "Damn Hot Attention Awareness"

•The hair caress that Krampus gives Little Krampus, which shows their love

•Krampus holding his leg whilst moving

•"Welcome to the North Pole airport"

•Luke literally throwing his head back with laughter in the sidelines

•Mrs Claus not knowing how passports work

•The banter on how passports work

•I love how happy and enthusiastic Tom seems

•"Oh, bribery!" "That's also a crime!"

•The poses for the photo booth

•Poor Snowdrop :(

•"That's Krampus! The most wanted terror!st in the North Pole"

•Tom's out-loud commentary, and Luke just nodding

•"Where's our bowl full of jelly laughs? This is SHIT"

•"Barbados.. Let me check the map *pulls out map* There"

•Snowdrop's smirk when one of the elves says "We're not allowed passports" and then "There's a photo booth"

•"I'll climb up on your shoulders" "Oh really?" "Yeah" "Okay"

•The name's if the characters on the presents in at the start is really cute (damn they really know the fanbase huh)

•"I have an alternative proposal" "I'd probably prefer mine, to be honest 😏"

•"Oh, actually, fuck yeah, that's great"

•"Rudolph motherfuckerrr"

•"The teddy bears are getting married" dude. how can he say something as pure and wholesome as that and NOT expect me to combust

•Forgetting the reindeers names and an audience member helping them out

•"I was expecting a sexy lady with a big beard"

•Javier turning the elves head to look at him

•"Christmas is ruined, there's no laughter for us to eat"

•"Ho ho ho is gleeful laughter"

•Everyone subtly making fun of Mrs Claus saying "I was caught on a cloud"

•"You're his muse. His inspiration" ☹️☹️

•"Hey, let's not blame someone with a disorder, shall we?"

•"Sometimes, the hyper focus is really useful for making toys. One day, I made a thousand game boys. They said to try and make something else, I said "fuck that!""

•Krampus's song

•"Krampus grows more powerful!!"

•"Little Krampus has a gun now!! Ho ho ho.. 😈😈😈"

•The deep "I'm everywhere"

•"No no no no no"

•"Poor little teddy bear Christmas man!"

•"Ahhh.. A Christmas gun..."

•"One present from every child.. goes to Krampus's tum tum!"

•WHY ARE THEY SOME THE MOST GORGEOUS AMAZING PEOPLE EVER TO EXIST EVER??? LIKE THEY ALWAYS LOOK GOOD.

•"I feast on the tears of the children!!"

•"Find the joy... Santa"

•Definitely wasn't hoping for a kiss scene or something...

•"You are nothing little lady girl.. I'm a sex!st as well"

•"Your wife is my wife now"

•"Hehehehehe"

•"Look at my little piss boy"

•When they all start singing "All I Want For Christmas Is You" very slowly and eerily

•"What is this song? This wasn't around when I was put beneath the ice"

•Most beautiful men ever ngl

•"AVADA KEDAVRA!!"

(So basically the entire play)

[iersei]

always happy to enable my friend's beautiful mind and beautiful au thoughts forever and always o7

hello! this is your free pass (or threatening reminder. however you want to interpret it.) to ponder your AUs!

ramble about them if you want even. or perhaps keysmash about which is your favorite. it's enrichment.

THANKS SEI. OK OK HERE HERE brainrot time. Um reading cut bc I think I'm just gonna word vomit.

Ok first things first. For the Bigtop Burger au, I'm still rolling with Lark's idea where Dood essentially infested and turned a normal food truck into an eldritch, Doodler foodtruck. That FUN and CUTE. ALSO SEI IM MAKING YOUR'S AND LARK'S MAKEUP IDEAS CANON IN MY HEAD BC THEY BALL SO HARD.... Scary purple drippy makeup, Normal has school-spirit pep rally dots ( I think maybe either blue and red bc purple OR yellow and blue bc. cute?), Taylor in my head has orange flame inspired makeup, and Linc has green football stripes :]

As for the function of the food truck, I haven't thought too hard bc this au strikes me less as a super serious story one, and moreso as a S1 Bigtop Burger au where Shit Just Happens For Fun. The teens run it on the side as a cover for Dood and to get around while making some money ( maybe the money they earn is converted into daddy Warbucks bc that gimmick was good). Also Scam Likely has a food truck and it's a zomburger esc. rivalry. And I was maybe think the Mayor/The other Dooderlized people have one too but i'm not sure about that! I'd like to hear thoughts!

+ I was just thinking it would be cute if the other NPCs got roped into it for a brief amount of time. Like Erica, Margherita, Hermie OFC ( he's gonna pull grand-theft auto instead of a mascot heist), maybe the Varsity Soccer Team... something something, another Agent Schmegan car chase but it's an eldritch clown food truck filled with teenagers. I JUST MISS THIS SILLY AU AND I'M ALWAYS DOWN FOR BIGTOP BURGER,,

The Actor au is super similar in that it's not really anything besides silly, but I was just thinking of more fun scenarios! Like Henry having to be suspended in the air while doing "magic" because I love. shots of actors dangling in their dumb littles harnesses. Or clips of a show without the effects put in so it's just dorks waving their hands around and yelling. I was also thinking about how actors do side interviews/gameshows(?) and how the bonus episodes of the show are Just That.

OKOK and for the Krampus au(?) or whatever I'm doing with that because I'm just. thinking. plotting. But I wanna keep the silly art side idea with Glenn as Krampus, Darryl as Santa, Henry as a Christmas Elf, and Ron as like....a big gingerbread man. but I was thinking maybe a real au.

the main setup I have right now is the Dads being normal. vaguely-fantasy. villagers. Darryl being a carpenter/woodsman, Henry being a town healer maybe, and Ron being a traveling merchant who lives there/sets up shop. But there's a Weird Fucked Up Creature in the woods and everybody tells their kids its Krampus and they're gonna get stolen/eaten if they misbehave and he becomes this genuine myth. But turns out! probably after one of them runs into him in the woods ( probably Darryl), it's just. Glenn. and he's a goat demon monster but he's actually Pretty Chill! and he starts coming around town more and messing with people bc the Dads pretty much "invited him in" y'know. I was also thinking about having Nick as a baby goat demon...... unsure if Morgan would also be a demon or a human woman....

Thats just my way of getting my fill of monster content because I LOVE. WHEN PEOPLE HAVE TO PUT UP WITH MONSTERS... and they're already so awkward around monsters in universe so them having to navigate this demon who hangs out on their roof is PERFECT.

I also have my various unplanned/nonsense-aus cluttered around. Like the Dads as monsters, I was thinking a Swap Au ( either just Closeson or all the Dads. If all, I think it was that Darryl was the Bard, Ron was the Barbarian, Henry was the Rouge, and Glenn is the Druid. Alternatively, Darryl-Rouge, Glenn-Barbarian, Henry-Bard, and Ron-Druid).

I have a lot of thoughts and none of them string together coherently.

[mochinomnoms]

How do you think explaining Christmas would go down with the boys? I'm specifically looking at Krampus, cause the holiday is all about joy and hope and lights and and giving, and then there's just this half goat demon man that will stuff you in a sack and torture you for Your Sins.

The story of Krampus is actually really metal tbh. There was this evil butcher that killed, chopped, and salted these three kids that were hanging outside his shop, and then St. Nicholas came along and uses the Power Of God to commit actual fucking necromancy to bring the kids back to life. God then cursed this butcher to follow around St. Nich as a punisher that comes around every December 5. The French call him "the whipping father" it's fucking insane actually.

Some of the holiday is also a little weird when you put it into perspective, like: oh yeah, there's this red guy that you write letters to and then he breaks into your house and you leave an offering of milk and cookies for him in exchange for candy and gifts :D! He also has flying reindeer with very cute names btw! But we're not going to talk about that actually cause now we have to decorate this whole ass pine tree that I brought into ramshackle :D it's gonna be great! :D

Bro imagine giving them advent calendars! Those little ones with the small toys or chocolates- give one to Riddle he needs one. Lots of sugar intake to catch up on

🦩

To be real, I was raised very Catholic (ew) and traditionally Mexican so my Christmas stuff is very different from what you see on TV and like in Hallmark movies.

So like, we celebrated it as a religious holiday, so the Santa stuff is kinnda foreign to me, I only heard about it from school. We still got presents and stuff, but I remember doing Posadas, which is children reenacting the Mary and Joseph seeking shelter by going to houses and singing and asking for shelter. At the end we go to one of the parents' houses or to the church and have a little party! We also didn't really decorate like I've seen in American homes, we had like a cute tree usually, but mostly decorated the altars to La Virgen and the Nativity scene.

The biggest difference I've found is that we celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve instead; we had Nochebuena, so we'd go to midnight mass, have dinner, and at midnight we open presents. Technically, kids didn't get presents because of Santa or anything like that, we got it cause kids get gifts like how the three kings gave baby Jesus presents. Though that also is a different winter holiday in January or February, not sure. When I got older my family started getting more Americanized, and my brothers got the whole Santa deal, but we still did a lot of the church stuff.

Considering that there is no mention of any sort of religious institution in Twisted Wonderland, I imagine my explanation of Christmas would be very foreign. Though Noble Bell College basically being Notre Dame in the Masquerade event and Rollo practically inventing Catholic guilt in a world without Catholics has some implications? I actually don't think there is any mention of any deities that the cast or world in general worship, though perhaps it's implied with Hades? He's not referred to as God of the Underworld though, he's King so maybe??

This got off-topic, but I like to think any explanation of traditions from back home is fascinating to the boys! And there's a lot of winter holidays besides Christmas and Las Posadas, I mean Hanukkah is big and Yule is reemerging as people learn more about where traditions from Christmas comes from.

If you're like me and have a religious aspect to your winter holidays, I think they're curious about it and asking all sorts of questions! If you had the more traditional American Christmas, then they're super curious about the whole Santa deal! Like, they thought you said your world didn't have magic, so what's with this magically man in a red suit and white beard?

(Also, I don't know what advent calendars are, they have candy I'm guessing? If it's a calendar, then I'm safe to assume it's like a count-down to Christmas day?)

[little-annie]

✨️Happy Holidays @kikidoesfanfic ✨️

“Robin, I swear to Santa Claus, if you don't stop trying to make me walk under the mistletoe at the same time as Eddie—”

“I know, I know, you'll open all my gifts and tell me what they are. It's not that big of a threat, Babe, I'll still get the gifts in the end anyway.”

“Yeah, well— still.”

“Yeah, still you fucking dolt—”

Having heard enough of a conversation he wasn't even supposed to catch wind of, Eddie tries to appear as if he's not sulking when he enters the living room to find the remainder of their guests spread about.

The tree is still up, the stockings are still hung and he thinks, even if he doesn't get the mole-dotted, sun-kissed gift he really wants, well, this Christmas might still be alright.

Leaning against the breakfast-bar, dressed in their awful Christmas sweaters, Gare and Freak are drinking spiked eggnog from mismatched mugs and still whispering about Krampus only knows what. Just as they were when Eddie left the group to go to the washroom, and inevitably overheard Robin and Steve whispering themselves -not as quietly as they should have been- about Eddie, and Steve apparently not wanting to kiss him.

Which, whatever, Eddie can get over it.

Maybe.

He thinks.

Sure, since even before they moved in together, he and Steve had something going on. But in all the years that they've been friends, they've never crossed that very definitive line. They touch, sure, cuddle occasionally, hell, they even sleep in the same bed from time to time. But they've never kissed.

And apparently, maybe they never will.

Stepping past Jeff and Chrissy cuddling on the couch, Eddie tries to not scowl at their joy as he goes to get himself an overflowing mug of eggnog incase it's not as easy as it sounds to enjoy this holiday season.

Continue reading on Ao3⬇️⬇️⬇️

@strangerthingswritersguild

[munsonownsmyass]

Silent night

Krampus x reader

Summary: On the night before Christmas, you have an encounter with the feared Krampus.... it doesn't go quite as expected.

Notes: @theradioactivespidergwen said she hoped for a Krampus fic this Christmas. So I promised to see if I could make one. This might not be what you expected or wanted, Mandy, but hope you think its okay 🤣

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Words: around 1 K

Warnings: None, really. Maybe just me taking some liberties with Krampus and thinking I'm funny 🤣

The sounds of bells fill the cold December air. But not the jolly warm bells we know from Santa, no. These were devoid of joy, ominous as their dead, soulless chimes sound in the night. The rusty hinges on the old, cracked sleigh sound as it lands on the lawn.

Big, black hooves land in the snow and with heavy steps, they make their way to the door. Claws scratching down the old wood, a warning of what is to come. A warning for those who haven’t been nice.  

The door swings open, giving way for the icy winds to enter the warm suburban house. Its quiet. All the inhabitants still sleeping, but not for long. Soon one of them will be begging for his life. Soon he will be no more.

The hooded figure steps forward, the air around him chilling to the bone. His very presence harbors death and all joy is gone. Until one of the giant hooves lands on a toy brick and he almost looses his balance, the small brick wedged into the hoof.

”Son of a bitch! Who the fuck lets Lego lying around?! Jesus.” His deep voice rings through the silent house as he kicks the blocks away, pulling the wedged brick out. Suddenly the lights flicker on, and he freezes, looking up slowly to find a woman looking at him.

“Uhm, hi. You’re not supposed to be up.” Krampus says confused, confident that the whole house was sleeping when he entered.

“Well, I am now. You’re a little loud.” I yawn, looking at him. The ragged red coat with the white so dirty it looks grey. The massive horns protruding from his forehead and the hoofed feet that scrabe the hardwood floor. “Shit… You’re Krampus.”

“I… I am.” He says, making his voice a little deeper as he straightens.

“You’re not what I expected.” I chuckle softly, crossing my arms, taking in the creature before me. He might look the part, but his voice and the way he carries himself? Not at all like the horrific tales.

“Oh, you…” He pauses and his eyes turn fiery red, like the flames of Hell and the room gets darker as if a shadow suddenly falls upon it. “You wanted this, my child? To be frightened to your very core?”

His voice is gritty and cold as ice, the coldness seeping into my veins. My whole body tremble as he walks closer, the smell of sot and rotting flesh filling my nostrils. The way his hooves scrabe over the floor boards send shivers through me, making me regret I ever laid eyes upon him.

“Want me to scare you? To peel the flesh off your bones and feast upon your tender meat?” Krampus asks, his claws scratching my cheek as the red eyes stare into my soul, making my blood run cold.

“Yeah, no. I don’t do that much.” He says, his voice now back to normal and the room the same as it was before, as if nothing happened. “After a few hundred years it gets old.” He chuckles and scratches his neck.  

“Only use it on the hardcore cases. Most are afraid or freeze the minute they see me, so I rarely need it.” He looks to me, slightly frowning as he leans in closer. “Why aren’t you scared?”

“I don’t know. Just aren’t. Well, I was when you did your Krampus voodoo.” I smile softly, shrugging my shoulders. Never been much of a scaredy cat.

“Huh.” It’s the first time in all his years that a human hasn’t feared him. This is… new and a little exciting. “You… Are you normally not scared?”

I just shake my head. Horror was one of my favorite things and there had always been a certain pull to the mysterious and unknown. I take a step closer, looking at his eyes, now that they are back to their normal brown color.

“Are you here for me?” I ask, confused. I might have some… not so normal interests, especially in what I read, but if that was all it would take, a lot more people would be taken.

“Oh, no. Don’t worry. I’m here for your brother.“ He averts my gaze for a second while he grins. “I mean, your taste sure is spicy, but not for me to judge.”

He smiles before gesturing to the stairs. “I should get going. The bad ones aren’t going to torture themselves.” He frowns for just a split second, but it’s enough for me to notice.

“You hate your job… Don’t you?” I ask and it causes him to stop, slowly turning back to face me.

“Well, yeah… Wouldn’t you hate being the bad guy for so long? The cause of all those nightmares? A cautionary tales used by grandmothers that want their grandchildren to behave.” He looks down, frustrated, before returning his gaze to mine. “It was fun for a while. Had a blast in the 1400-1600s. But… lately I’ve been asking for a replacement. Turns out it’s quite difficult when there’s only one me.” Krampus shrugs with a chuckle, trying to play it off, but I can see the frustration in his eyes.

“What about a vacation?” I suggest with a smile. “I mean, isn’t your job very seasonal?”

The way I smiles is really endearing and Krampus can’t help but feel… something. A little unsure what that feeling might be, he’s very interested, nonetheless.  

“You know, I never thought about that.” He stands there for a moment, looking into my eyes. Even in his friendly stage, he is an intimidating sight, yet I don’t flinch. Not even a frown on my brow.

“Well, I…” With a nod, Krampus finally tears himself away and walk up the stairs, leaving me in the living room.  

-

When he comes back downstairs, Krampus stops and finds me still there. “Where would you go on vacation?”

He notices how my eyes linger on the bag slung over his shoulder. Its still moving and there are faint screams coming from within. “Sorry, just… doing my job.”

“That’s okay. He was an asshole anyways.”

Krampus stares at the woman in front of him. So short and fragile compared to him yet standing so unbothered in his presence. “You’re not like anyone else I’ve ever met.”

“Yeah, I… I’m often told I’m different.” I shrug with another smile. For a while we just stand there, looking at each other. The smell of sot and rotting flesh still lingers in the air, but I don’t move, just awaits his next move.

“So. Where would you go on vacation?” Krampus asks again.

“If I could choose anywhere in the world, I’d travel to New Zealand.”  

“New Zealand it is then.” He smiles, the gesture sweet in spite of his sharp teeth and harsh appearance. For a moment he lets his eyes linger on her, almost as if he’s searching for a reason not to go. But eventually he looks down and walks away.

“Happy holidays.” He says, voice surprisingly soft, before walking out the door, disappearing into the cold winter night.

-

That Christmas was more silent than usual in my house. The official story was that my low life brother walked out on his wife and kids. The others hoped he’d still come back, but I knew better. If I look closely, I can still see faint marks in the floorboards from where his hooves dragged over the old wood.

No one would believe me, of course, so I would never tell. That’s a little secret I would keep to myself. I did still think about him, though. Wondering how many souls he claims every Christmas. If he ever got that much needed time off.

But I shake off the thought as I start to remove my Christmas decorations. Christmas was over and the holiday would forever be changed for me. I’d never quite look at it the same again.

Tagging: @itwasthereaminuteago @e-dubbc11 @murdock-and-the-sea @mattmurdocksscars @boliv-jenta @chvoswxtch @idrinkcoffeeandobsess

And just a little no pressure tag, but @monster-bait I loved "There Arose Such A Clatter" (and all your other books ❤️), so thougth I'd tag you, eventhough my krampus is far from yours 🙈

[lars-n-drix]

Strung Up to Dry

AO3 link

Callum, after dealing with a bratty Jack, ties him up with Christmas lights, sans pants. His dick exposed to the cold temperature of the dome. And the metal chair isn't any better. Jack yells out obscenities as he watches Callum's broad back drifts further and further out of view. The situation dawned on him as he wiggled his ass, attempting to find a comfortable position.

Enough time passes that he's slouched in the seat with his ass hanging halfway off. His head hung downward, arms and legs numb with the tension of the lights. Callum had tied them taught with no wiggle room. Dick cherry red, precum trickling down the shaft. Jack cursed his pain kink, unable to get any relief.

Jack doesn't even look up when the door opens with a bang against the wall. Equally loud footsteps echoing as the person came closer. 'You seem to never know when to stop running your mouth, O'Malley. The type that likes to play with fire,' comes the accented voice.

'Can't get burned when this whole place is a damn snowstorm,' Jack lifts his head, curious as to how Krampus keeps warm in such a place. Outside of his fur and muscles, that was. He tries to appear like being tied up with strings of Christmas lights doesn't bother him but unfortunately his dick does the talking for him. ‘Acting like frostbite doesn’t exist.’ 

Just as he goes to respond, Jack is cut off by a raspy groan as Krampus circles around him, tail brushing up against his inner thigh. Grazing over his balls. Clawed hand going down his face like a knife. Enough care not to slash him open as it wraps around his throat. ‘So responsive, you humans.’ Krampus makes no move to untie Jack as his forked tongue licks a stripe up his ear.

Feeling akin to prey trapped in a cage to be eaten by an apex predator. Never knowing what to expect with Krampus, being the most unpredictable sexual partner of his. 'Oh, c'mon Jack, relax. Won't hurt you...too badly.'

Placing his hands on his shoulders, Krampus laughs. His tail collected Jack's precum onto the pad of fur, acting as a third arm. Slowly jerking him off. 'How pretty you sing, Jack,' Krampus just always had to compare him to a damn canary. Moaning underneath his grasp, pleading and begging when Krampus suddenly stopped right before he came. Stomach muscles twitching in tandem. 'F-fuck, why'd you stop?'

'Because it's Krampusnacht...and there's pleasure in pain. You'd know that better than anyone,' waiting for his muscles to calm down. One of the hands on his shoulder trailed down in a soft caress. Applying light scratches across the skin. Once relaxed, the tail continued. Purposely picking up speed as it repeated the process until Jack was beet red in the face. 'Yea, yea, cause every day is Krampusnacht to you. It really is a blast.'

Choking out another groan as Krampus' tail squeezed his cock in a brief death grip. 'Always something with that luscious mouth of yours,' thumb rubbing against Jack's bottom lip. Opening his mouth to suck on the clawed digit, tongue being careful around its sharpness.

'Should be grateful that I'm even letting you cum.' True to his word, Krampus' tail goes on a frenzy. Gleefully watching from his spot above as Jack's body bows inward on itself, cum spurting from his dick. Removing himself from Jack's body, Krampus' forked tongue licks the substance clean from his tail.

'Let's get you untied now, yeah?'